>And so I’m off

26 Nov

>I’m leaving for France tomorrow morning.
I have to be with my Mum and Dad, my brothers and my family right now.
Amazingly, it has been incredibly straightforward to arrange child care for our three boys and so I’m leaving ALONE!!
I will be driving down to Dover, taking a fast ferry across to Boulogne and driving 2.5 hours to get to my parents who live just north of Paris…
I’m excited but also full of trepidation and also sadness. It’s a weird time! I cannot wait to be on my own in the car, to hang out with God, listen to some worship, pray and also just be quiet, or cry a little, maybe?
I haven’t cried much – yet. But I know from experience that that is normal and so am expecting…the unexpected! That’s grief isn’t it?! Anything and everything is OK.
The picture I posted of my grandmother is a particularly beautiful one because you see her exactly as she was. And it is excrutiating to look at: she looks so alive and to think that she is no longer with us is very difficult to grasp, almost impossible right now.
When I come back things will be a little clearer in my head as to how I’m feeling and what grieving for my precious grandmother is going to look like in the slightly longer term.
For now, I’m off. I haven’t even packed my bag yet; I think there’s a little part of me that really doesn’t want to go.

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